The Liebster

My sweet, tender, loving and kind wife nominated me for the Liebster award. Sooooo I am putting off my post about being married for one more day... or week.... or month. Just depending. But it's coming!! Promise!! Thanks dear, for this opportunity :)

Okay, so here are the rules...

1. Post 11 things about yourself
2. Answer the questions the nominator made for you
3. Create 11 more questions for the blog you nominate
4. Go on their page and tell them they won!
5. Oh, and no tag backsies..

So..... 11 things about myself.... Hmmmm...... In the language of my fathers, here we go!

Tasi: I am married to the most wonderful woman in the world. She spends all day going to work and school and doing homework, and then comes home and makes dinner, checks on our bills and expenditures, plans for the week, and does SO much more than I could ever list in a blog post. (That doesn't even cover all the times she sees that I'm in a bad mood, and drops whatever she's doing to help me, or spends time making a surprise for me when I get home from work.) She is SOO smart and talented and wise and funny and crazy and I love her to death. Simply put, that is the number one thing that you need to know about me - I am incredibly lucky simply because this magnificent (and gorgeous) princess chose me. She did. SHE chose ME. To me, that is one of the greatest miracles that God has ever blessed me with.

Lua: I am a student at Brigham Young University. What am I studying? I finally have that answer down - psychology and business strategy. Now.... What am I going to do with that? I don't know. That's been the focus for my future career the past two semesters - business startups, financial consultant, doctor, seminary teacher...... Sigh....... But I know I do love working with people, and analyzing finances and different strategies.... And teaching the gospel.... And neurobiology.... Sigh. Again. ;)

Tolu: I work currently at a residential treatment center for youth who struggle with drug problems and/or emotional problems. It's a good job, but pretty stressful most of the time. I work around 35 hours a week, while going to school 15 hours a week.... Which makes life pretty stressful in general. Sigh.... But I have a wonderful wife that helps me not stress out over every little thing. Hahaha.... :)

Fa: I am a very analytical person. Did you know that about me? Well, I didn't, until just recently. I've always been good at math, and my favorite heroes as a young kid were Batman and Sherlock Holmes. (And Superman, but.....that's beside the point.) But now that I've been married, my wife will say things like, "What do you want to eat for dinner?" And I'll respond with, "Well, we have corn that's going to go bad, but we also have pizza.... And we also have some chicken that I've been trying to figure out what to do with..." And then she'll hold my hand and say, "Robbie, I asked what you wanted. You don't have to analyze everything!" And she has been right. While it's good for me to use my skills of analysis for some things, to use it for something as simple as what to eat for dinner or what to do for a date can be hampering and dull. This is something else that I've been working on - how to relax and just have fun.... Surprisingly enough, if you know me ;)

Droit: I love to eat cookies. I am so CRAVING cookies right now that it's unbelievable. In fact.... Quick break, while I go make some......

Gouche: I. LOVE. THE. DOCTOR. If you don't know who I'm referring to, then either you've never read my posts and/or you don't know true culture when you see it. Magnificent. Doctor Who.

My favorite part about the show is that it is so COMPLEX. It's about character development and relationships and truth and good vs. evil and moral principles and friendship and bravery and love and loss and confronting your inner darkness and confidence and so many wonderful things. My wife and I watch it all the time and we love it to death!!

Fitu: I am a hard person to buy gifts for. I think of things I need at the time, and in rare moments where I think "Man, I sure love tools!", I forget the fact that I loved them at one point. So I usually end up with clothes and movies for gifts like Christmas. Which, I love the most, actually :) Especially snappy looking sweaters and gloves.... ;)

Valu: My left arm is two inches longer than my right. No, I'm actually dead serious. Honest!! It makes it so that I always have to get new suits tailored so I don't look like I'm a little kid wearing my dad's suit...

Nove: I love introducing my wife to new shows and having her love them. Shows like Psych and Doctor Who. She also introduces me to new shows like Once Upon a Time and Pushing Daisies, which I love now too!! She's the best :)

Zieben: I love Christmas!!!!!!! Also, on a tangential note, my favorite Christmas movie (at least, at the current time) is The Santa Clause.

Once: Hahahaha.... Once means 11 in Spanish. And Once Upon a Time is my favorite current show. (Along with Doctor Who. Just sayin'.....) AAAAHHHHHH!!!!! And I am freaking out.... Henri needs to show Regina he loves her too... Or else she'll turn all Evil Queen.... BELAPTHASDRPHGAVIEOP;P2Q3;123412342341

If you didn't know at least three of the above facts, you are no longer my friend.... Just kidding. But now you know more about me! Yay!

Now to my dear wife's questions:

1. Are you wearing deodorant right now? If so, what kind? If not, why not?

I would be very ashamed if I answered "No"..... Yes, I am! I am wearing Old Spice Swagger.

2. What is your favorite restaurant?

Awwww..... Not fair. I have favorite restaurants for specific types of food! Rita's for Dessert, Five Guys for burgers, Papa John's for pizza..... But my favorite restaurant overall? I would say...... Ummmm...... Hmmmm..... Chick-Fil-A! They have everything I want. Yeah, we'll go with that ;)

3. What is your favorite movie EVER?
Disclaimer: I will not count TRILOGIES!!! That would be unfair, plus I would count the whole trilogy as one movie, plus.... Yeah. 

First, let me give you my top 5 list.... A Beautiful Mind, Master and Commander, Beauty and the Beast, Hook, and Remember the Titans.... And Inception. (My top trilogy-as-one-movie list? Bourne Trilogy, LOTR trilogy, Dark Knight Trilogy, and Toy Story Trilogy. Favorite Trilogy out of those three? Ahhh..... LOTR!!) But, my final answer is.... Master and Commander. Or Hook. Argh!

4. What was your favorite conference talk from the most recent general conference and why?

Easy! "Brethren, we have work to do" by Elder Christofferson in the Priesthood session. I loved it because Elder Christofferson is one of my favorite apostles, and it described so well the problems that men face and how they have to overcome them and how we have to man up.... OOOOOH. So good.

5. How many fingers am I holding up?

Easy again! None. Why would you hold up any fingers at any point in time during the day? Plus... I know you, wife....

6. Do you like cheese? If so, you're awesome. If not, what's wrong with you?

........ Yes?.......... Jk. I love cheese! ;)

7. What is your dream vacation? I want details.

Hahaha.... Not that I've spent a while thinking about this, but a trip to Disneyworld for about a week, then flying out to Europe for two weeks to see France, Italy, and England. Yeah..... Eiffel Tower, Notre Dame, The David, Nutella Gelato, Nutella Crepes, Beast's Castle, Belle's Ballroom, Harry Potter's Castle (twice), Disneyland Paris, Venice, Assisi, London, Baker Street, AAAAAHHHH!!!!

8. If you had a million dollars and someone offered you five million dollars for that one million dollars, what would the Chinese say about colored scarves in the fall while he eats his breakfast? And what was he eating?

What would he say: "生活美好." Or "Fashionable."
What he was eating: Shin Ramyun. Or, "Spicy Ramen".

9. Can you count to purple backwards? If you get this, you're awesome.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!! Yes, I get it :) Do you????
I can count to g!!!!!!!

10. Do you like Once Upon a Time? If so, you're awesome and...why? If you don't, we can't be friends anymore. If you've never seen it, I ask you good man or woman...WHY NOT?

Yes I do!!!!!! (See number "Once" of the previous statements) I'm awesome......

11. Do you like puppies????????????????????????????

YES I DO!!!!! I want one..... Black Labrador Retriever. His name will be Jake. He will have a friend that is a little dog.... Whose name is yet to be determined....

Finally, 11 questions for my lucky winners...

1. When was the last time you bought ice cream that wasn't in a carton? Where was it from?
2. What do you want to be most when you grow up?
3. Do you know who David Moffat is? If not, I might be about to cry....
4. Benedict Cumberbatch or Robert Downey Jr.? And why? (In case you don't understand from the actor's names, which is a better Sherlock? The one from the recent movies or the one from the british television show?)
5. If you had a magic time box that could take you to any point in time or space, where would you go? And why?
6. Same magic time box, different paradox - what one mistake in your life would you try to correct? Or what would you tell a past version of yourself about your shared future?
7. What scripture currently defines and/or gives meaning to your life right now? And why?
8. You could own Apple, Disney, or Wal-Mart. (But you can only own one of the three.) Which one would it be? 
9. Do you know who Shawn Spencer is? If not, I might cry harder.... If you do know who he is, name his favorite male companion and that companion's signature vehicle.
10. If you go to school, what are you currently going to school for? And why?
11. Which General Authority (though all are your favorites ;) ) generally speaks to your trials and heart the most? And why?

This award goes to my cousin Corinne, my good friend Ben, and my good friend Kirk. I hope you find this as rewarding as I did! :)

THE Woman

Captain's log 327, Date 5/6/12: I start a new job working at a treatment center for troubled kids. Hence will end all of the free time I ever have.....ever.

Haha.... maybe not all of it! But my new job, however grateful I am for the money and the opportunities it provides for me, still sucks up a lot of my time. I work typically 40-60 hours in a given week, depending on how many shifts I pick up from co-workers. The children that I work with already have their therapists to diagnose and treat and medicate them. My job is to make sure they do what their therapists say, to keep the peace and protect the kids from each other. It's a great job - but with many hours comes less time... hehe. Although I guess that was obvious... But I really am grateful. I had been looking for a job for the past year and have finally found one! Yay!!

Besides working, I have been preparing for school in the fall! I'm definitely settling on a psych major with minors in mathematics and business management....where do I go from there? There's a better question. I know you might not care, but I am deciding between law school, medical school, or management school... ambitious much? Yeah.... they all sound very prestigious and I would be lucky to get into any of them, but the point is I am still not sure which one I'm going to do!! So is that exactly an advantage? When I introduce myself to people, do I just say, "I just want to do something ambitious in life! .... That I don't know yet! .... What it is!"..... Yeesh. School. Future. Decisions. Speaking of which...

Well, in other news.... I'm engaged. :) :) :) :) :)

And yes, she's probably saying right now, "It's about time you told everyone!!!" Hahaha :) It's been about a month since we've been engaged. I know, I know what some of you are thinking... just like Aunt Voula, "We never thought this would happen! Never, NEVER thought this would happen!" Well.... it did! :)

I suppose some of you will want the story of how I met the love of my life... and persuaded her to marry me. Well, let me tell you... It wasn't easy! (She is actually much more descriptive than I am. If you would like her version, which I do much more than mine, you may read it here )

I met Meagan soon after I got home from my mission. In the ward where I attended church, my only friend happened to be my best friend from high school. He invited me to go bowling with him and a couple of friends from the ward - one of those friends being Meagan. This was the first time I met my future wife... and we probably said 3 words to each other that entire night. Why didn't I know then, right? ;) Because of our single's ward we hung out a lot over the next few months, going to Smart Cookie and Hart's and doing lots of different events together. Long story short, as we got to know each other we went through many immensely difficult trials together, from getting to know each other to dealing with personal issues and struggles to even breaking up and getting back together. But through it all, we focused on doing the right thing, regardless of what may happen in the end. As we dedicated our lives to the Savior, and sought to figure out what was in line with His will, everything naturally followed - and now we are getting married. :) :) :)

I love that woman. "THE woman", as Sherlock puts it. Being with her and learning how to love and be loved and manage schedules and personalities and priorities has all been a great learning experience for me - and as we've grown closer together, I have found myself wanting to become a better person just so that I can match her. She is brilliant at school and common wisdom that cuts through the distractions of our world today; she is hilarious, and can make me smile with just the sparkle in her eyes that lets me know I'm in for a teasing; she is kind to everyone that she meets, and has the most nurturing spirit that I do not doubt she is ready to be a mother; she is soooo selfless, and gives of her time and energy to all sorts of people that need her help; she is sooo spiritual, she puts her Father in Heaven first before all things - I know she is going to be spiritually grounded throughout her life; she is beautiful; she is amazing. She is mine. And I am hers. I love you!!!!! :) :) :) September and marriage and Disneyland cannot come fast enough..... :D

And so we go.

Berlin Foot Chase

Do you ever get the feeling sometimes that your life is a frantic rush? Like you're running around with a thousand things to do, and maybe an hour to do them? Hahaha....don't we all? I've been feeling a lot like this lately. I'm not saying I'm busier or more important than the average person in the world today, but I do admit that often I feel overwhelmed by the load of work I have to do. School is a full time job (which makes me lucky that I have a minimal part-time job, only about 5 hours per week. Although I just got another job! Woohoo! 60 hours a week.....), and then with trying to cram in my family and church responsibilities I can stress myself out a little too much. It's at times like that when I feel like I'm approaching the frantic stress level of a situation like this:

Or This:

NOTE: THIS ISN'T JUST A SHAMELESS PLUG COMPARING ME TO ONE OF MY FAVORITE MOVIE CHARACTERS, JASON BOURNE. WELL.... I MEAN.... MAYBE IT IS.

This is how I feel sometimes. No, not the coolness factor - I wish I was that cool. Though if a friend of mine gets his way this is what we'll both be doing for a career. (Working for the CIA I mean, not running away from them.) I feel like I'm constantly running around, like a chicken with my head cut off. And yet, surprisingly, I am starting to like it. I certainly like being busy much better than being bored out of my mind. But I am also getting better at planning and organizing, and being able to carry out the plans that I make. Most importantly, I am prioritizing my life and trying to do the things that are of most importance. School takes priority, work takes priority, friends and family take priority over things like entertainment, busy work, etc. But the most important priority is God.

When I am listening to Heavenly Father and waiting for His words, I feel peace. When I am striving to discern His will and gaining strength and power to do it, I am at peace. When I am studying His scriptures, listening to the words of His prophets and seeking to know more about what He would have me do, I am at peace. When I offer up my soul as a sacrifice to Him in prayer, dedicating my life to be used in His service, drawing near unto Him and His powerful throne in my thoughts while I am going about my business (and His), I am at peace. When I am partaking of the Atonement of Christ and becoming perfected in Him, I am at peace. These things take away the stress, the anxiety, and the heartache that come with the trials and tribulations of our mortal lives. I have been realizing that I have been focusing on too much too fast, and especially focusing on too much of the worldly stuff. I have been trying to do everything myself, almost like I was left on my own - like Jason Bourne. But I'm not alone. I don't have an entire group of people that want to kill me, or thwart me, or make my life stressful. I have a God who loves me and wants to help me be happy. How can you be sad then?? Well, only when I lose sight of this fact.

On another subject, there is a documentary that just breaks my heart. If you've ever been on the bad end of a junior high bullying, or seen someone go through it, or just been a member of elementary through high school, you know what this problem is. This documentary reveals just how serious it is:

This is a huge problem in our schools today. I applaud these documenters for truly revealing certain aspects about the schooling process and bringing light to this terrible matter. There is one problem - it is rated 'R' for the language that the middle-schoolers use, curse words including very serious words. Now I don't know quite how I feel about that - it is really telling how middle schools are like, but it is very harsh language for a family audience. But they are trying to change the rating and possibly remove some of the curse words. So I guess the decision is just up to you - more updates will come soon I'm sure.

Well thanks so much for lasting to the end of the post! I know it's been a long time since I've posted, and this post itself has lasted for about a month. But I hope something in here has helped you.

I love Jesus Christ. I love my Father in Heaven. I know them to be two separate Beings who yet think exactly the same, who know and want what is best for me, and want to guide me (not force me) to make right decisions. I know that if I follow their example, and listen to their counsel each day, that I will not be thrown off or stressed or freaked out. I will be at peace in the storm, like the Savior's disciples on the sea of Galilee. I will become like Them. If I do everything they ask me to do.

And so we go.

You'll Always Be My Best Friend

"Is this how time normally passes? REALLY SLOWLY??" - Doctor Who

Why does time seem to never seem to go at the same rate? Why does a week fly by like it was a television show, and yet a day drags on so long that it feels like a marathon? I've mentioned before, Sundays pass so slowly that at the end of the day I sink to my couch embattled and weary, like I just fought 15 rounds with Anderson Silva. Yet a week flies by that I can't even remember all of the assignments that I whipped out or completed. It's insane! I can't even remember specific days anymore, but at times I feel like The Doctor in this clip - time passes so slowly. And never for the things that I want - which pass as if I was traveling through time and arrived at the end of "3 hours" in a real time of about 10 minutes. Worst of all, I feel like I never have enough time to accomplish all the things that must be done. Meetings, visits, interviews, planning sessions, study sessions, time for studying and homework, time spent for work, time for church meetings, time for school, and any leftover time which needs to be divided between family, friends, and girlfriend. Oh, and fun. :P Sigh....it'd be nice to be God and have power over time, so I could do everything that I need to in an endless amount of time.

Because of that, let me give you specific things that happened even though I can't remember the days.

Blessings:

1. I was able to take a test two days later than I expected, so that I would have extra time to study.
2. I did not get sick.
3. I have great professors in all of my classes, that help me to understand the material and to integrate it into the knowledge I already have of life and how things work.
4. I was able to spend a lot of time with family. Not enough, but I was able to spend more than usual.
5. Which family, by the way, is amazing. Not only are they related to me, but they are some of my best friends. Taylor and Green Lantern have been my best friends literally since I was born. My brothers and sisters and I have gone through extremely hard things together, and we are super close. Not to mention my mother and father are equal parts hilarious and kind and forgiving and wonderful. Probably the best family on the planet. Just so you know :)
6. I serve under a wonderful Bishop, with amazing counselors and a great Relief Society. Every one of these people are kind, loving, dedicated people that want to further the work of Christ and emulate His example in their lives. I am truly blessed to work with such people.
7. I have a wonderful girlfriend. She truly cares about me, and thinks not of herself but of how she can make me happy. She is selfless, kind, and dedicated to living the gospel. I am very grateful for her. :)

Hard Things:

1. I struggled to understand concepts in my classes. Do you ever go to class and feel like you've hit a brick wall, and no matter what the teacher says to try and impart wisdom to you nothing gets through? ....Yeah, it's been one of those weeks. 
2. I am struggling with time. All of the time. Managing my time wisely, getting my homework done on time, rushing off to meetings, avoiding espn.go.com, and in general going crazy in my head. Sigh.
3. Resulting from this, controlling my natural man is a hard trial. He manifests sometimes in the form of the Facebook/Youtube monster, sometimes in an overwhelming desire for chocolate, sometimes in the desire to sleep through all my classes, etc. Fighting him gets exhausting sometimes.
4. Meetings. Aaaahhh... I love what they accomplish and I stand behind their purpose, but the amount of meetings that I both have to attend and plan for during a week is insane. It will be nice when I no longer have to run this many meetings. Hahaha...I say that, and yet I have a feeling they're not going to go away...Sigh.
5. The Lord said that He intends to test us to the boundary of our faith. Well....it's happening. I have a feeling that no matter how fully you understand the gospel and have learned to discern the voice of the Spirit, Satan increases in his ability to deceive you the more your ability to discern the Spirit increases. So I've been struggling in trying to discern which promptings are coming from where, and avoid getting attacked by him. That is also exhausting.

Successes:

1. I was able to read my scriptures every day this week. Yeah!
2. I am developing great relationships with my professors.
3. I did almost all the homework that was due this week, and am pulling A's in almost all of my classes. Woohoo!!!!! That almost should go under blessings - it's pretty much a miracle that I'm managing to survive this well. 
4. Things are going well in the ward that I attend. People are coming unto Christ, listening to each other, striving to be better, and becoming more friendly. The world is changing!
5. I am finding greater faith :)

Random Events/Notes:

1. Had man nights with The Doctor, eating beef jerky/chicken wings/oreos and watching episodes of Doctor Who, Ben 10, and Homestarrunner. Hehehe :D
2. I'm back to the cottage cheese diet. And now I go to bed exhausted every night because of the two-hour workouts my cousin puts me through. I love you Green Lantern. Not.
3. Watching sports = time with my dad = awesome.
4. Going driving = time with my mom = awesome.
5. I am not addicted to Doctor Who. Not. One. Bit. Just because you love something very, very much does not mean that you cannot give it up. Just saying'. ;)

With all of these things having progressed, I would like to share with you things that have been weighing heavily on my heart the past couple of weeks. When we are pushed "to the boundary of uncertainty, exercising faith", though those words may be inspiring and uplifting, it does not mean that it is a pleasant experience or process. It's a hard struggle, a feeling like you're getting punched in the face time after time after time with doubt and uncertainty and fear and unbelief. Not that you automatically feel those things in the presence of a trial of your faith, but that they threaten to overwhelm you and, worse, to be accepted by you. Have you ever had something in  your life that has done this to you? It could be a number of things: the death of a parent or close friend, being fired from your job at work, feeling like you're not getting any answers to your prayers or like God doesn't hear you, being overwhelmed with the demands on your life from work and family and others, not feeling accepted by other people, feeling like you don't have any friends, feeling worthless or like you just aren't a very good person at all. These things may come out of the blue, and seem very undeserved. Well, honestly, you're probably right. Often you don't deserve to have hard or terrible things come upon you. But that raises the question - do you deserve to be blessed? Do you deserve to have good things happen to you, to be made perfect? If you believe you deserve this, then often you deserve the other. Confused? Let me share a scripture with you:

"And now, I, Moroni, would speak somewhat concerning these things; I would show unto the world that faith is things which are hoped for and not seen; wherefore, dispute not because ye see not, for ye receive no witness until after the trial of your faith." (Ether 12:6)

Like I have mentioned time and time again in these, the writings of my mind, I know that the only way to get through trials is to rely on Jesus Christ. Yet the question remains, WHEN is it that He steps in and saves you? Like Moroni says, it is "after the trial of your faith". When is that, you may ask? To that question there is no easy answer. It is when your faith has been pushed to its limit, to where you are unsure of whether God will ever answer you. It is THEN that you have to place your faith in the only Perfect Being you will ever have the privilege to talk to in this world. He knows you; He knows the depth and breadth of the trials you face better than you do; He knows your limits more perfectly than you may ever know; and He knows how far you need to be pushed in order to become like Him. The Perfect Man knows all about what is necessary to become perfect. It is through these trials of faith that your character is strengthened and your true principles are made clear. He has also made it clear that He will not push us farther than we are able, and promised that He will always be by our side as we walk through these hard times. And we know that we are bound to go through hard things in this life; why not use them to draw closer to Christ? So this is the answer:

"Behold, I am a disciple of Jesus Christ, the Son of God. I have been called of him to declare his word among his people, that they might have everlasting life." (3 Nephi 5:13)

Once you declare yourself a disciple of Jesus Christ, you declare that you are willing to go through all things for His name. The devil declares war upon you, and life at times seems to declare war upon you. But  God Himself declares that He is your advocate; that though enemies and storms and burdens and frustrations may break upon you, they will not break you. He will guide you and support you through all these things. If God is on my side, then it doesn't matter what else is against me. I am a disciple of Jesus Christ. I believe in Him. I trust Him. I love Him. And I would give my life for Him. I will declare His word and His gospel to all nations of the world "that they might have everlasting life", that they might come unto Him and be saved.

And so we go.

Along the pathway to perfection...

Coach Boone: It's all right. We're in a fight. You boys are doing all that you can do. Anybody can see that. Win or lose... We gonna walk out of this stadium tonight with our heads held high. Do your best. That's all anybody can ask for. 
Big Ju: No, it ain't Coach. With all due respect, sir, you demanded more of us. You demanded perfection. Now, I ain't saying that I'm perfect, 'cause I'm not. And I ain't gonna never be. None of us are. But we have won every single game we have played till now. So this team is perfect. We stepped out on that field that way tonight. And, uh, if it's all the same to you, Coach Boone, that's how we want to leave it. 

That is one of my favorite quotes from one of my favorite movies. It explains a lot about how I feel like a family, a team, a brotherhood, even a church family should work. None of the individual members are perfect. But we all strive together to create a perfect society, a safe environment where we can all interact and grow one with another. That is being perfect. That is being complete. That is unity. I could go on for hours about this subject... Anyways! This week has been another crazy week. Lemme give you the deets:

Event 1: Planning There was a lot of planning this week, mainly because we had a lot of meetings and events this week. Because of the changes that are happening in our ward, we are trying to do our best to organize ourselves so that we can be prepared for the events to come. With all of the tasks still to do , as well as our constant effort to help others come unto Christ (not force them, but invite them), there has been a lot of planning so that we can balance all of our priorities and still be able to accomplish them all. On a personal note, planning is becoming extremely important. With all the time I need to spend at school, with the family, devoting time to my job, my church, and my girlfriend, it's become vital to take some time and plan out my week so that I can give proper attention to everything. So.....planning is good. :D

Event 2: Visiting Visiting families and individuals is part of my calling in my church, which I usually do with Durant, Fred, and George*. Just to clear up some misconceptions, by "visiting" I am not "intruding" or "policing". It is much like a visit from a parent - a "Hey, how are you??" and "What is going on in your life?" and "What can I do to help?". That is the purpose of visiting members of my church - to get to know them better, build a relationship with them, and see what I can do to help with all of the trials and struggles that they are going through. That is the true purpose of ministering - that is the whole meaning behind all that Christ taught. If I ever were to "visit" someone to bully them into coming to my church or to lecture them about their problems, then I am not teaching as Christ taught. In all things, but especially my calling, I want to emulate the example of the Master.

Event 3: School/Homework This took up the majority of my week. Two tests, two papers, and assignments practically every day. Enough said. I can't wait to get a job...and still be just as busy. :P

Event 4: Time with Belle Spent a lot of time on this one too :) On Valentine's Day I went over to her house and we watched You've Got Mail and Ever After - one right after the other. All the while eating delicious Oreo truffles and dried mangoes..... Mmmmm.... What a great night. :) Also we went to the temple, watched Howl's Moving Castle and The Secret World of Arriety (awesome movies!!), went to a friend's reception with her, and then hunt out with Indy and Marion (the holders of the title "My favorite married couple", after my parents of course) and her family. While I need to make sure I'm giving proper attention to all the other facets of my life, this one is still one of the most important. Just so you know :D

Event 5: Family Time I was able to spend a lot of time with family this week. Had 2-3 "man nights"with the Doctor, celebrated Chip's birthday, and was able to spend a lot of time in general with family. We went to Lowe's Air Sports (a tumbling place, complete with trampolines and rock walls), went out to eat at Olive Garden, and worked out together. This is one of my favorite ones, and also one of if not the most important. :)

Event 6: Meetings Yes, all the planning resulted in at least something tangible - meetings. Lots and lots and lots of meetings. Sunday was full of them (mainly pertaining to stewardship and the Spirit), Saturday held an awesome one about committees and leadership principles, Wednesday had both visits and instruction. I'm starting to get used to this meeting-heavy schedule, but I hope it never becomes too overwhelming or numbs me to my other responsibilities. 

* = Yes, these are all code names.

Now, my random tangent/obsession of the week. I actually have two - Doctor Who is still an obsession, carried over from last week. So here's a clip from Doctor Who that explains who the Doctor is, and why I am becoming so attached to him:

My other obsession (for this week haha) is sports. Specifically, basketball. I love basketball - I've played it ever since I was young. It has always been my favorite sport, and one that I've grown up learning, playing, and watching with my father. I served my mission in Philadelphia, PA, where basketball was king. I mean, don't get me wrong - football was a huge obsession over there too, equivalent to Texas. (Yeah, I went there.) But in the city, basketball was a source of pride - that's why it's been so depressing to watch the Sixers play in town. They stunk so badly. Now they're the third seed in the Eastern Conference in the NBA, and the city is rockin'. Not only are they a championship contender, they are a great TEAM. They are unselfish with the ball, they make the extra pass, they bust their butts on defense, they hustle after every loose ball, and they have great chemistry. This is the compete opposite of the days when "The Answer" (Allen Iverson) was dragging a weak team to the NBA Finals. Both are great teams, but one was built around a mega-star while the other is built around a cast of skilled character guys that play together to achieve success. Let me give you a clip of this current brand of 76ers, both because I love them and because it illustrates how they operate as a TEAM:

So with this talk of teamwork and selflessness, I'd like to mention the term "Accountability". Why? Well, the heart of a team starts with accountability. A definition of responsibility  by the dictionary is "a willingness to accept responsibility for one's actions". A great team relies on each player, each member taking personal responsibility for the success of the team. But also, it's what I've been studying in the scriptures recently. But, you might say, accountability is not in the scriptures. I don't remember ever reading that word - certainly Jesus never mentioned it! Well, you are right. But the principle of accountability is all over - Christ says,"that "every idle word that men shall speak, they give account thereof in the day of judgement" (Matthew 12:36), and again says, "Every tree that bringeth not forth good fruit is hewn down, and cast into the fire" (3 Nephi 14: 19). While this isn't meant to scare or condemn anyone, it does bring a seriousness into our reflection of the deeds that we do each day, and the things we think about other people. We are accountable unto God for the things we do in this life, for how we use the blessings He has given us. He loves us, and He wants us to do our best so that we can become like Him. I know that the only way I can do that is to hold myself accountable to Him, and do my best to take responsibility for my actions.

And so we go.

Always

Shawn: You know I'm not really a regular person, right Phil?

Phil: What does that mean?

Shawn: 'Cause I tried once and failed. I'm just too unique and interesting. 

The French call it "Du Fromage".

Wow...the past week went by really fast. So many things happened - I went to school each day, worked out twice a day, and spent time with family, along with many wonderful things. :) But I don't want to spoil the ending for you - just read and you'll find out more as you go along.

Monday: Went to Family Home Evening, where we played Bishopric Jeopardy and got to know the members of our ward better. Then we went to M's house and watched Master and Commander. Can I just say, that movie is one of my favorite movies of all time. I don't want to spoil the movie for you, but let's just say I highly recommend it. HIGHLY. :)

Tuesday: After many hours of planning and homework, I went to Buffalo Wild Wings with D,W,C,K,L and a whole group of friends. 45c wings!! Honey BBQ!! Awesomeness. Then had man talk with D - one of my best friends, someone I'm very close to - for a couple of hours. Great night.
Wednesday: Went on visits with C,P,R and once again was highly spiritually uplifted. Then I went to institute and learned about patience and temperance. At least, that's what I learned - I can't remember what the lesson was about. Afterwards, went to JCW's with K and W, and had man talk haha. Then I went to go see M and C... and had one of the best nights of my life. More to come later. :D
Thursday: Right after school and finishing a paper, I hung out with my cousin T. She is one of my best friends, and basically the same person as me - just in a different body. We and our mutual cousin H left their apartment to go get Little Caesar's, and came back with meats, cheeses, bread, and chips to make sandwiches haha. Side note: I loooooove Jalepano Cheddar Cheetos. A lot. Then we went and played basketball with their ward. T was Chris Paul, and I was Russell Westbrook. How did we play together? Awesomely. Especially because we've been playing since we were little kids, so we know each other like the back of our hands. So needless to say, we kicked butt.
Friday: Loooooong day. After schooling and tests, I went over to my grandmother's house where I met all my cousins and their friends for luau practice. Like I've mentioned before, my cousin J is getting married in April, and because we're Samoan we're having a luau for the wedding reception. We practiced the sasa, the haka, the slap, and the pate pate. After 3 hours of that, my cousin T went to see The Vow and J, J, C, and I went to Five Guys and chatted for a while. Then I went home and hung out with my brother. We had man night - we watched Homestar Runner, and our new favorite show/obsession: Doctor Who. More on that later too :)
Saturday: Worked out in the morning, and then worked on martial arts techniques with J and S. Went to the temple in the morning with M and C, and then did homework and planned for the many meetings to come tomorrow. Then at night, I watched more Doctor Who with my brother S, and then headed over to M's house to watch Howl's Moving Castle. However, by the time we all got there, it was too late to watch a movie. So we just hung out with M's family and with B and L - a married couple whom I haven't seen for a while but love very dearly. And had a wonderful night :)
Sunday: Once again, the busiest day of the week. All the meetings that I attended today were full of the Spirit of God, leading us and guiding us to make changes that would help His children. He is so invested in the security and safety of His children - I feel it to the bottom of my heart every time we discuss them. He determined to make sure that we care for them in the best way possible, and that we not mess up His perfect plan for them. If you are a human being and you don't think that God loves you - you are wrong. I am sorry to be so bold, but He loves you so much and He wants you to come back to Him so desperately that He will do anything to help you. Remember that. :)

Permit me to go on a random tangent for a moment. When my brother S told me about Doctor Who, I kinda said, "Yeah, yeah. That sounds cool." And then he persuaded me to watch it with him. And I got hooked. He is like a mix between Shawn Spencer and Sherlock Holmes, although he's more Sherlock than Shawn. Extremely bohemian, impeccably neat, and of a calculating mind practically unmatched by any in his universe, Doctor Who is now one of my favorite characters of all time. Let me illustrate this by showing you a clip. Doctor Who = Awesome. :)

Let me be honest with you, dear reader. On some things, I am very open with you - my testimony of Jesus Christ, my love for my family, my struggles and my trials. These things I communicate to you in the efforts to offer you a glimpse into my life, through the hope that something in my struggles or triumphs may touch you and help you along the same path that I am trying to walk - that of trusting God, listening for His voice, becoming a better person, exercising faith in Christ. What you take out of my writings is all up to you. However, something recently has happened that causes me to be a little more honest with you than I usually am. I am in love. No, that's not right. I love someone very dearly. (Yes, she's a girl ;) And know, dear reader, that when I use the word "love" - I don't take it lightly. I haven't said that about anyone I care about in a romantic way except for her. I have come to know her very well, to the point that we know each other's thoughts. We care solely for the benefit of the other person, and want them to be happy. There's such a tenderness and kindness in love that we sometimes miss in the Hollywood romances. There is a devotedness to each other, a level of commitment in the word love that is missed entirely by our society today. So dear, if you are reading this - I love you.

Now, having said this, we will still face struggles in the future. We both feel that our troubles are not over yet, and that in fact we are meant to go through hard things together. But, such is life, right? Besides, this gives this subject a nice way to tie back into the purpose of my blog. :) If I am a disciple of Jesus Christ, and commit to following His teachings, I will be tried and tested to the limits of my ability. Why? Because I believe in a God who cares about me so much that  He is willing to build me and stretch me until I can become like Him and His Son. Having a girlfriend doesn't change that. The difference is how we face those hard things - if we will crumble and shrink from the support He gives us, or if we will stand strong and listen for His voice, that we might know what is right. That is what I am fighting for. That is what I care for. And I will defend it with my life.

And so we go. :)

I'm ready to try and never become that way again...

Sometimes I wonder why it is that we human beings can be so contradictory. On the one hand, we are capable of truly remarkable things: creating magnificent pieces of art, lifting a car overhead, composing beautiful music, sacrificing much in order to help a family member or even a complete stranger. And yet we can also be capable of terrible things - murder, rape, abuse, manipulation. This dichotomy of good and evil discourages me sometimes. Why do I worry about this? I don't worry about drinking some mystical potion and turning from Dr. Jeykll to Mr. Hyde. Although, speaking of this story/musical, it touches on the subject that I am really worried about:

THIS is what I'm worried about. The struggle within my soul, of good and evil. I worry that the good that is in me will grow weak and dull through laziness, through misuse of power, through neglect of the sacred principles such as prayer and scripture study that empower my righteous side. I know that I have many weaknesses, far too many and too private to be listed here. And sometimes, my weaknesses overwhelm me. I am doing pretty well now, but this possibility still haunts me.

So how do I deal with this? I focus on the things I can control. Dark impulses and desires can be like terrorists, biding their time until they strike at their most opportune moment. I have a feeling that this is the reason behind the "all hell breaks loose" type of days we have - we spill food over ourselves on the way to work, get yelled at, forget assignments until it's too late, come home and meet a home in chaos. The only way I know how to deal with this is to hold true to the principles that I know to be correct - which, if I hold to, will help me arrive at the other side of these impulses intact. These principles, such as faith and love and hope, are held together and guarded by one overarching principle: integrity.

"When one has integrated all of these attributes [faith, hope, charity, etc.] within his being, when they become the moving force of all his thoughts, actions, and desires, then he may be said to possess integrity, which has been defined as 'a state or quality of being complete, undivided, or unbroken; moral soundness, honesty and uprightness.'

Let us pursue this thought of a man being whole within himself, or undivided. Such a one would never find himself at war within himself as to which course to pursue or which decision to make. Constantly there would be a unity of purpose. There would not be, as someone has said, “one self for church, another self for business, another for recreation, home, travel, and so on....

The exact opposite of such vacillating is the life and character of the one to whom we should hold fast as the very ideal of integrity—Jesus Christ, the Savior, who taught that man cannot live a divided life, that he cannot serve both God and mammon, and that he cannot serve two masters. Not only were Christ’s teachings directed to a oneness of purpose, but his own life was the personification of integrity. This virtue is one of our greatest needs today." - President N. Eldon Tanner

If I have integrity, I will keep to my principles above all else. I will guard myself against all outside forces that seek to break me down or seduce me, and likewise guard myself against all inside forces that try to guide me contrary to these principles. It is true that we all need to listen to our hearts when we make decisions, but if I have a feeling that I must go seduce a married woman, I can clearly see that that impulse is a wrong decision. So I need to discern between even competing feelings in my own heart. The one that "feels right", that rings clear and true - that is the principle that I have to go with. And above all else, I have to follow the example of my Savior. If Christ would not do it, then I cannot do that either. How do I decide what He wants me to do? I can tell often through my feelings. However, more often, He simply tells me. And He will tell you if you just take the time to listen. It may be hard, but the effort it takes to hear His words is worth all that you might sacrifice. For if you have His words, His guidance, then you can hold to that and trust that you will be safe. You will make right decisions, regardless of the immediate outcomes. Trust Him.


And so we go.

It doesn't matter now. Just let them come.

Well, this past week has flown by. I've been so busy I can hardly believe it's Sunday again. Let me review what's happened in the past two weeks:

Event 1 - Had a few last days with M.R., my other self. (Me, you, and D were all the same person - now it's just D and me, living the same life.) K and I said goodbye to him last Monday, and then he left on his mission on Wednesday. I might take another blog post and devote entirely to our relationship, but suffice it to say he was one of my best friends. I know he's going to do great. Love ya Costanza!!!

Event 2 - Many movie/hangout nights with friends.We watched Psych, The Sting, The Phantom of the Opera: 25th Anniversary, and Les Miserables: The Dream Cast in concert. Shakes were eaten, hamburgers were ordered, and ice cream cones were spilled. And above all, many deep talks were had about the meaning of life, relationships, the gospel, personal feelings, trials and tribulations, friendships, etc.

Event 3 - Meetings. Meetings. Meetings. Meetings. Lots of them! Mostly for the ward - more on this in another blog post. To be continued...

Event 4 -Visits. This is one of the best parts of my week. We go out and visit people in our ward who either need help and strengthening, people we don't know very well, or people that just moved into the area. Regardless of their circumstance, they always uplift and inspire me to try and be a better person. And sometimes we are blessed enough to be able to help them come unto Christ and rejoice together in the goodness of His gospel. Sound cheesy? Well, even if it does - it's true. Christ is the only way to true happiness. Also more on that later.

Event 5 - Hanging with my family. Man nights with the brother who I share a room with (meaning either talking all night about girls and school, or watching Homestar and How It Should Have Ended until we fall asleep. Movie nights with the family, going out to eat, and spending time with the people I love. Working out with cousins, going to dances, playing Rock Band until 5 in the morning. Great times :)

Event 6 - Tests. Tests. Papers. Homework. AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

Event 7 - Scripture Study and Prayer every morning. Does this count as an event? If it's important enough to have every morning, then I just wanted to mention it. I also wanted to mention that it's helped EXTREMELY in dealing with all the struggles and trials that I've been dealing with. Just so you know. :)

Well, in all of this, I wanted to mention that I feel extremely blessed by my Father in Heaven. I know I post often about the struggles I am going through - partly so that when I go through further struggles later in life, I can look back on these times and say, "Well, I thought I had it really rough then - and I got through it!" And realizing that I only got through it with His help. Well, right now I feel like He is lifting my spirit up and guiding me and protecting me from the forces of darkness. I feel His power around me, strengthening my commitment and courage to do what is right. I know this probably means that trials and heavy darkness soon await. Let them come. For if I trust in my God, all things are possible.

And so we go.

"Another day another destiny...this never-ending road to Calvary..." - Jean Valjean, Les Miserables

Do you ever feel like the weeks just fly by? That's how I feel at this point in my life. One year ago I could hardly imagine the year that awaited me - so many things have happened. I've made so many new friends, gone through many new trials, and learned so much. I have come closer to my Brother and Friend Jesus Christ, and strengthened my relationships with family. This week feels no different - so let me summarize it in part to even remember what happened!

Monday: Went to class, studied and did homework. Oh! I forgot to mention - my cousin J is helping me to get into shape, but by doing so we're on a strict diet-and-exercise program. It consists of the following: Eat cottage cheese and toast for breakfast, meat and salad for lunch (lean meats and no dressing, or fat-free dressing), and pasta or protein + fiber for dinner, with two snacks in between. It actually isn't too bad - it's really filling! Unlike other diets where you're starving all day...the killer part is working out twice a day. We wake up at 6am and work out for an hour before I go to school, and then when I get home from school we go to the gym again and work out for an hour. Sigh...hopefully this will get me into that tuxedo I need to fit into for his wedding ;)

Tuesday: Also went to school and did homework. Then after school, I went to go see Beauty and the Beast in 3D with a friend!! It was awesome. Did I mention how I just love Beauty and the Beast??? Ahhhh..... :) In a...manly way, of course....

Random quote that my brother wanted me to post on here...because we both find it hilarious:

      Gwen: "Do you have anything that's 5% fat and 20% sugar?"

      Ice Cream Server: "Napkins. Next?"

Wednesday: Went on visits with C, P, and R. (hahaha...I just realized that's what their initials spell :) We were able to see a lot of good people, and were very uplifted by our visits with them. In institute afterwards we learned about...well, the thing that kept standing out to me was about patience. I guess it's because I've been working a lot on having more patience, and controlling my impulses. You know, those impulses you get at 11 o'clock at night to eat a whole sleeve of oreos and a glass of milk? Don't lie - I know you have those impulses too. I think....well, I do anyways. Amongst other bad impulses. So I'm trying to work on patience, and I think I got more revelation on how God wants me to work on it. So...I prayed for it. AAAHHH!!! Just FYI, whenever you pray for patience....God gives you the opportunity to build patience. Ha...haha...so I'm kinda waiting for the other shoe to drop. But I know it'll happen the way He wants :)

Thursday: Our basketball team won! Yeah, we're pretty awesome. .....that's it.

Friday: Saw Brian Regan!!!! In Salt Lake City!! He was soooooo funny. I love his humor. Then went over to M's house and watched Tangled, and clips from Phantom of the Opera. Night of awesomeness!!!

Saturday: Ran a lot of errands with my mom, and did a lot of homework. Then, just chilled and spent the day with family. It was a good day :)

Sunday: As usual, just writing about Sundays  makes my head hurt. Got up at 8 to have prayer with the family, had meetings from 10-12, visited families in the ward from 12-1, had church from 1-4, met with the Stake President and Bishop until 5, had dinner with the family from 5-6, and then visited other families from our ward from 6-8. Whew! Now I'm home, typing these experiences up in an attempt to remember the things that happened this week, and try and analyze what exactly God is trying to teach me.

In writing this, it seems clear that...well, for one I'm not very specific involving these blogs. But I guess that makes sense - I don't want to bore you with all the little things that happen each day. But as I think about it, God is in all the little things that happen each day. I don't see His face every day, or get an appearance from an angel. But I do miraculously get through traffic to get to my class on time, or work hard on a paper that gets 100%, or run into a friend that I haven't seen for years just in time to talk with them about trials that they are going through. Does God care about these little things? Well, yes, actually. He cares about if I get an education; He cares about the relationships that I have. But most of all, He cares about helping me to have the mortal experience that enables me to become like Him. To have faith in Him, to believe that He can do all things, and that it is through His will that I receive the greatest happiness. 

I am so grateful for the lessons I've learned, not just this week but this past year. I have really good friends, and an awesome family. I have great professors at school, and am learning more and more about what I want to do with my life. Most importantly, I have a Savior who atoned for my mistakes and trials, so that I could repent and receive comfort and strength through the hard times that I experience. I know that if you come to this knowledge as I did, then you will find more happiness than you can find in just about anything else - money, fame, power, etc. 

And so we go.

"Hear Ye the Words of a Prophet" - (1 Nephi 19:24)

 Well, what a week has passed my friends. So much happened - the family met J's fiancé, Alabama beat the snot out of LSU, much homework was done, and...we were able to listen to the voice of a living prophet of the Lord. But, let's start with the other notable events.

Tuesday: Helped my mother sort out our DVD collection downstairs. Yeah for organization! Oh, and lots of homework :P
Wednesday: Went on visits with C, and was very humbled by the people we were able to meet. I feel like Heavenly Father has been molding me and shaping me to become more like His Son, but I'm still so far from that goal that I feel like there's still so far to go. Meeting these people helped me to realize how little I know about the gospel of Christ, and how to partake of His divine nature. After this experience and institute, I made a resolve to try and do better to be like Him - in my relationships with others, in my priesthood responsibilities, in my schoolwork, etc.
Thursday: I think I did nothing. Wait! I watched almost an hour of Homestar videos with my brother. Yes, Homestarrunner. Why? Because he's hilarious. And Strong Bad emails. Do you doubt? Click on the link to the right entitled "Hahahaha...". You'll find out.
Friday: Went to the ward activity, a Murder Mystery party! We learned more about the Book of Mormon and the purposes of descriptions of war and chaos. Then, a group of friends and I were going to watch Beauty and the Beast in 3D...but I had a friend of mine practically begged me/dragged me all the way to his house so we could watch Les Miserables: The 10th Anniversary in Concert. Still a good choice - I love Les Miserables. Its story of sacrifice, redemption, and love touch my heart and always make me want to be a better person. Isn't that the definition of good entertainment? Well, it should be. Also, I just wanted to put a plug in for Anthony Warlow - the greatest Enjolras and Phantom of the Opera of all time. Kind of a tangent, but nobody's heard about him - and yet he is so fantastically talented. Watch these clips, and you'll see what I mean:

Saturday: The day to end all days. In a good way, that is. :D I was busy during the day, at a meeting with our Stake Presidency and other elders quorum presidencies discussing the patterns of repentance and rescue that Christ practiced, as well as basketball and other fun events. At night, I went with my parents to go listen to Elder Richard G. Scott of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles. Who is this man, you may ask? He is an apostle of the living Christ, the Son of God. He was specifically called by Him to bear His name to all the nations of the earth. Specifically? He is my hero. Well, one of them anyways. He held a question-and-answer session with all the members of the church in our area, and many questions were asked and testimonies given by Elder Scott. I was fortunate enough to be able to ask a question of my own that I'd been wondering for some time - just a simple inquiry about how to exercise greater faith in the Savior, and come to know him better - and received deep instruction from him that launched me on a journey of self-discovery that has blown me away. It was one of the best nights of my life. :)

Sunday: Went to meetings at 7am, 9am, 11am, and 12pm. Church from 1-4, and then reports and visits from 4-6. Dinner from 6-7, a fireside from 7-8, and then visiting with friends until I went home to bed. Sunday are the busiest days of my week...yeesh. Just writing it down makes me tired.

The things I learned from Elder Scott, both on Saturday and through his many, many conference addresses that have touched my heart, have been of great meaning to me. I have learned much through his simple testimony of the Savior, and of principles that the Savior taught. Things like spiritual guidance, faith, integrity and character, prayer, and repentance among others. I would invite each of you to look up a talk by this man on www.lds.org, on any topic that you feel you need help or encouragement on. I can promise you that if you listen carefully, you will feel the Spirit touch your heart and whisper to you things that you need to know. Things like "Heavenly Father loves you", or "This hard trial will pass", or "You need to be nicer to your mother", or "Read the scriptures more", etc. I can even give you a head start on one of my favorite topics (not to go through, but to learn about): Why is life so hard?

I bear testimony that Elder Scott is an apostle of the Lord, and he receives power only insofar as he is obedient to the Savior's will and commandments. I know that if we listen to him, he will increase our faith in the Savior and His teachings. I love him, and I love my Savior especially. Through Christ we can do all things, and if we live worthily we return at the end of this life to our Father in Heaven. Christ tells us Himself with love, "I go to prepare a place for you." (John 14:2)

And so we go.

But If Not...

Hello again! It's been a few days, so let me tell you what happened. Actually....."No, it's too much. Let me sum up." - (My Big Fat Greek Wedding):

Sunday: Christmas!!!!! Soooo good. This was also the first Christmas for a long time that our relatives were able to spend with us. I got a Macbook!!! Well, actually I split the cost with my parents. It still was a very generous Christmas present. Then we left for Disneyland!!! .....that's it. :)

Monday - Friday: DISNEYLAND DISNEYLAND DISNEYLAND!!!!!!!!!!! This was the first time I'd been back since I was 15! Needless to say, I was very excited. :D :D :D We spent all week going on rides, seeing Fantastmic and World of Color (twice each), and lots and lots of Indiana Jones. That's my favorite ride, just so you know.

Saturday: Saw our cousins who live in Corona, California. Played volleyball, then went to their house and pigged out on Little Caesar's and peanut butter m&m's. Then we played Just Dance 3....not the best idea after pigging out on junk food. Just FYI.

Sunday (January 1): We drove home. .....Yup.

Monday through Saturday (2-7): On Monday, I got ready for school and spent the day with my cousins and family. Same thing for Tuesday. Wednesday through Friday I went to school! For the first time this year...haha. I really like all my classes this semester, but...they're also all really hard. So I have a lot of homework. I guess that's life, right? You learn to do hard things. This, however, meant that I spent most of my waking hours on Saturday doing homework. AAAAHHHHH!!!

That brings us to today. I went to church, learned about the life of President George Albert Smith, and reflected on the experiences I've had in the past two weeks. I realized that I have been kind of letting myself slip away. Not that I'm loosening my morals or anything, but I'm getting more lazy in my personal life. Besides working out (which I do all of the time now, thanks to my cousin J), I almost never push myself. I never pretend that I'm perfect, but I'd become complacent in considering my accomplishments "good enough". There is a fine difference in feeling "good enough" as in feeling worthwhile, and feeling "good enough" as in "I'm already a good person, and I just need to keep being myself." While that is true, we should always be striving to be better. We are always changing - either for good, or for ill. My goal is to always be changing for the better - for the rest of my life, hopefully. So that helped me to write down changes that I wanted to make, and make plans to carry out those changes.

I would also like to mention a lesson that I learned over the past few weeks. Throughout our lives, we will experience hard things. The word "hard" can range from "man, I had an extra-long homework assignment!" to "my father just passed away....he was shot". Yet in all things that we go through, it is important to keep proper perspective. I just finished reading a book series called "Pendragon", the chronicles of a boy named Bobby Pendragon who flies around the universe saving worlds of people with his abilities. Corny, right? Yet in this book I found an extraordinary principle. In these books, Bobby struggles with saving the universe from an evil demon named Saint Dane, while still fighting "the right way", or "the way it was meant to be". These two sayings permeate the books, and are so important to Bobby that it is better for him to lose the right way than to win the wrong way. Because, in the end, if he loses the right way, then eventually right will triumph and evil will be thwarted. In the same way, we too must concentrate all of our efforts on doing the right thing. Then, regardless of what happens to us, we will eventually prevail. This requires a perspective beyond this life, for there are many things that cannot be made right in mortality - premature death of a parent, physical or sexual/mental abuse of a sister or cousin, murder, etc. Yet if we hold fast to the way of Christ, in the end all these wrong things shall be made right.

"Shadrach...knew that they could trust God—even if things didn’t turn out the way they hoped. They knew that faith is more than mental assent, more than an acknowledgment that God lives. Faith is total trust in Him. Faith is believing that although we do not understand all things, He does. Faith is knowing that although our power is limited, His is not. Faith in Jesus Christ consists of complete reliance on Him." Elder Dennis E. Simmons But If Not...

If you are dealing with struggles from relationships to stressing about future pain from financial struggles or future responsibilities to dealing with the death of a loved one, the only way that is guaranteed to bring us happiness is to follow Christ. Listen for His voice, study His words, and keep His commandments. His Spirit will then be with us, and will guide us to make right decisions. He will give us peace and joy in the meantime, even as we struggle with our difficulties. Then, if we prove faithful to Him through our lives, eventually we will be brought before Him and He will accept us with open arms, whispering tearfully into our ears, "I knew you could make it." If the most powerful Being in existence is on our side, and is our Brother, we can overcome anything. I love Him. He is my Savior, my Master, and my King. I worship Him, and I do all that I can to become like Him - He is my hero. At the end of the day, I know that faith and trust in Him will bring me the peace and comfort I seek.

And so we go.