You'll Always Be My Best Friend

"Is this how time normally passes? REALLY SLOWLY??" - Doctor Who

Why does time seem to never seem to go at the same rate? Why does a week fly by like it was a television show, and yet a day drags on so long that it feels like a marathon? I've mentioned before, Sundays pass so slowly that at the end of the day I sink to my couch embattled and weary, like I just fought 15 rounds with Anderson Silva. Yet a week flies by that I can't even remember all of the assignments that I whipped out or completed. It's insane! I can't even remember specific days anymore, but at times I feel like The Doctor in this clip - time passes so slowly. And never for the things that I want - which pass as if I was traveling through time and arrived at the end of "3 hours" in a real time of about 10 minutes. Worst of all, I feel like I never have enough time to accomplish all the things that must be done. Meetings, visits, interviews, planning sessions, study sessions, time for studying and homework, time spent for work, time for church meetings, time for school, and any leftover time which needs to be divided between family, friends, and girlfriend. Oh, and fun. :P Sigh....it'd be nice to be God and have power over time, so I could do everything that I need to in an endless amount of time.

Because of that, let me give you specific things that happened even though I can't remember the days.

Blessings:

1. I was able to take a test two days later than I expected, so that I would have extra time to study.
2. I did not get sick.
3. I have great professors in all of my classes, that help me to understand the material and to integrate it into the knowledge I already have of life and how things work.
4. I was able to spend a lot of time with family. Not enough, but I was able to spend more than usual.
5. Which family, by the way, is amazing. Not only are they related to me, but they are some of my best friends. Taylor and Green Lantern have been my best friends literally since I was born. My brothers and sisters and I have gone through extremely hard things together, and we are super close. Not to mention my mother and father are equal parts hilarious and kind and forgiving and wonderful. Probably the best family on the planet. Just so you know :)
6. I serve under a wonderful Bishop, with amazing counselors and a great Relief Society. Every one of these people are kind, loving, dedicated people that want to further the work of Christ and emulate His example in their lives. I am truly blessed to work with such people.
7. I have a wonderful girlfriend. She truly cares about me, and thinks not of herself but of how she can make me happy. She is selfless, kind, and dedicated to living the gospel. I am very grateful for her. :)

Hard Things:

1. I struggled to understand concepts in my classes. Do you ever go to class and feel like you've hit a brick wall, and no matter what the teacher says to try and impart wisdom to you nothing gets through? ....Yeah, it's been one of those weeks. 
2. I am struggling with time. All of the time. Managing my time wisely, getting my homework done on time, rushing off to meetings, avoiding espn.go.com, and in general going crazy in my head. Sigh.
3. Resulting from this, controlling my natural man is a hard trial. He manifests sometimes in the form of the Facebook/Youtube monster, sometimes in an overwhelming desire for chocolate, sometimes in the desire to sleep through all my classes, etc. Fighting him gets exhausting sometimes.
4. Meetings. Aaaahhh... I love what they accomplish and I stand behind their purpose, but the amount of meetings that I both have to attend and plan for during a week is insane. It will be nice when I no longer have to run this many meetings. Hahaha...I say that, and yet I have a feeling they're not going to go away...Sigh.
5. The Lord said that He intends to test us to the boundary of our faith. Well....it's happening. I have a feeling that no matter how fully you understand the gospel and have learned to discern the voice of the Spirit, Satan increases in his ability to deceive you the more your ability to discern the Spirit increases. So I've been struggling in trying to discern which promptings are coming from where, and avoid getting attacked by him. That is also exhausting.

Successes:

1. I was able to read my scriptures every day this week. Yeah!
2. I am developing great relationships with my professors.
3. I did almost all the homework that was due this week, and am pulling A's in almost all of my classes. Woohoo!!!!! That almost should go under blessings - it's pretty much a miracle that I'm managing to survive this well. 
4. Things are going well in the ward that I attend. People are coming unto Christ, listening to each other, striving to be better, and becoming more friendly. The world is changing!
5. I am finding greater faith :)

Random Events/Notes:

1. Had man nights with The Doctor, eating beef jerky/chicken wings/oreos and watching episodes of Doctor Who, Ben 10, and Homestarrunner. Hehehe :D
2. I'm back to the cottage cheese diet. And now I go to bed exhausted every night because of the two-hour workouts my cousin puts me through. I love you Green Lantern. Not.
3. Watching sports = time with my dad = awesome.
4. Going driving = time with my mom = awesome.
5. I am not addicted to Doctor Who. Not. One. Bit. Just because you love something very, very much does not mean that you cannot give it up. Just saying'. ;)

With all of these things having progressed, I would like to share with you things that have been weighing heavily on my heart the past couple of weeks. When we are pushed "to the boundary of uncertainty, exercising faith", though those words may be inspiring and uplifting, it does not mean that it is a pleasant experience or process. It's a hard struggle, a feeling like you're getting punched in the face time after time after time with doubt and uncertainty and fear and unbelief. Not that you automatically feel those things in the presence of a trial of your faith, but that they threaten to overwhelm you and, worse, to be accepted by you. Have you ever had something in  your life that has done this to you? It could be a number of things: the death of a parent or close friend, being fired from your job at work, feeling like you're not getting any answers to your prayers or like God doesn't hear you, being overwhelmed with the demands on your life from work and family and others, not feeling accepted by other people, feeling like you don't have any friends, feeling worthless or like you just aren't a very good person at all. These things may come out of the blue, and seem very undeserved. Well, honestly, you're probably right. Often you don't deserve to have hard or terrible things come upon you. But that raises the question - do you deserve to be blessed? Do you deserve to have good things happen to you, to be made perfect? If you believe you deserve this, then often you deserve the other. Confused? Let me share a scripture with you:

"And now, I, Moroni, would speak somewhat concerning these things; I would show unto the world that faith is things which are hoped for and not seen; wherefore, dispute not because ye see not, for ye receive no witness until after the trial of your faith." (Ether 12:6)

Like I have mentioned time and time again in these, the writings of my mind, I know that the only way to get through trials is to rely on Jesus Christ. Yet the question remains, WHEN is it that He steps in and saves you? Like Moroni says, it is "after the trial of your faith". When is that, you may ask? To that question there is no easy answer. It is when your faith has been pushed to its limit, to where you are unsure of whether God will ever answer you. It is THEN that you have to place your faith in the only Perfect Being you will ever have the privilege to talk to in this world. He knows you; He knows the depth and breadth of the trials you face better than you do; He knows your limits more perfectly than you may ever know; and He knows how far you need to be pushed in order to become like Him. The Perfect Man knows all about what is necessary to become perfect. It is through these trials of faith that your character is strengthened and your true principles are made clear. He has also made it clear that He will not push us farther than we are able, and promised that He will always be by our side as we walk through these hard times. And we know that we are bound to go through hard things in this life; why not use them to draw closer to Christ? So this is the answer:

"Behold, I am a disciple of Jesus Christ, the Son of God. I have been called of him to declare his word among his people, that they might have everlasting life." (3 Nephi 5:13)

Once you declare yourself a disciple of Jesus Christ, you declare that you are willing to go through all things for His name. The devil declares war upon you, and life at times seems to declare war upon you. But  God Himself declares that He is your advocate; that though enemies and storms and burdens and frustrations may break upon you, they will not break you. He will guide you and support you through all these things. If God is on my side, then it doesn't matter what else is against me. I am a disciple of Jesus Christ. I believe in Him. I trust Him. I love Him. And I would give my life for Him. I will declare His word and His gospel to all nations of the world "that they might have everlasting life", that they might come unto Him and be saved.

And so we go.