Along the pathway to perfection...

Coach Boone: It's all right. We're in a fight. You boys are doing all that you can do. Anybody can see that. Win or lose... We gonna walk out of this stadium tonight with our heads held high. Do your best. That's all anybody can ask for. 
Big Ju: No, it ain't Coach. With all due respect, sir, you demanded more of us. You demanded perfection. Now, I ain't saying that I'm perfect, 'cause I'm not. And I ain't gonna never be. None of us are. But we have won every single game we have played till now. So this team is perfect. We stepped out on that field that way tonight. And, uh, if it's all the same to you, Coach Boone, that's how we want to leave it. 

That is one of my favorite quotes from one of my favorite movies. It explains a lot about how I feel like a family, a team, a brotherhood, even a church family should work. None of the individual members are perfect. But we all strive together to create a perfect society, a safe environment where we can all interact and grow one with another. That is being perfect. That is being complete. That is unity. I could go on for hours about this subject... Anyways! This week has been another crazy week. Lemme give you the deets:

Event 1: Planning There was a lot of planning this week, mainly because we had a lot of meetings and events this week. Because of the changes that are happening in our ward, we are trying to do our best to organize ourselves so that we can be prepared for the events to come. With all of the tasks still to do , as well as our constant effort to help others come unto Christ (not force them, but invite them), there has been a lot of planning so that we can balance all of our priorities and still be able to accomplish them all. On a personal note, planning is becoming extremely important. With all the time I need to spend at school, with the family, devoting time to my job, my church, and my girlfriend, it's become vital to take some time and plan out my week so that I can give proper attention to everything. So.....planning is good. :D

Event 2: Visiting Visiting families and individuals is part of my calling in my church, which I usually do with Durant, Fred, and George*. Just to clear up some misconceptions, by "visiting" I am not "intruding" or "policing". It is much like a visit from a parent - a "Hey, how are you??" and "What is going on in your life?" and "What can I do to help?". That is the purpose of visiting members of my church - to get to know them better, build a relationship with them, and see what I can do to help with all of the trials and struggles that they are going through. That is the true purpose of ministering - that is the whole meaning behind all that Christ taught. If I ever were to "visit" someone to bully them into coming to my church or to lecture them about their problems, then I am not teaching as Christ taught. In all things, but especially my calling, I want to emulate the example of the Master.

Event 3: School/Homework This took up the majority of my week. Two tests, two papers, and assignments practically every day. Enough said. I can't wait to get a job...and still be just as busy. :P

Event 4: Time with Belle Spent a lot of time on this one too :) On Valentine's Day I went over to her house and we watched You've Got Mail and Ever After - one right after the other. All the while eating delicious Oreo truffles and dried mangoes..... Mmmmm.... What a great night. :) Also we went to the temple, watched Howl's Moving Castle and The Secret World of Arriety (awesome movies!!), went to a friend's reception with her, and then hunt out with Indy and Marion (the holders of the title "My favorite married couple", after my parents of course) and her family. While I need to make sure I'm giving proper attention to all the other facets of my life, this one is still one of the most important. Just so you know :D

Event 5: Family Time I was able to spend a lot of time with family this week. Had 2-3 "man nights"with the Doctor, celebrated Chip's birthday, and was able to spend a lot of time in general with family. We went to Lowe's Air Sports (a tumbling place, complete with trampolines and rock walls), went out to eat at Olive Garden, and worked out together. This is one of my favorite ones, and also one of if not the most important. :)

Event 6: Meetings Yes, all the planning resulted in at least something tangible - meetings. Lots and lots and lots of meetings. Sunday was full of them (mainly pertaining to stewardship and the Spirit), Saturday held an awesome one about committees and leadership principles, Wednesday had both visits and instruction. I'm starting to get used to this meeting-heavy schedule, but I hope it never becomes too overwhelming or numbs me to my other responsibilities. 

* = Yes, these are all code names.

Now, my random tangent/obsession of the week. I actually have two - Doctor Who is still an obsession, carried over from last week. So here's a clip from Doctor Who that explains who the Doctor is, and why I am becoming so attached to him:

My other obsession (for this week haha) is sports. Specifically, basketball. I love basketball - I've played it ever since I was young. It has always been my favorite sport, and one that I've grown up learning, playing, and watching with my father. I served my mission in Philadelphia, PA, where basketball was king. I mean, don't get me wrong - football was a huge obsession over there too, equivalent to Texas. (Yeah, I went there.) But in the city, basketball was a source of pride - that's why it's been so depressing to watch the Sixers play in town. They stunk so badly. Now they're the third seed in the Eastern Conference in the NBA, and the city is rockin'. Not only are they a championship contender, they are a great TEAM. They are unselfish with the ball, they make the extra pass, they bust their butts on defense, they hustle after every loose ball, and they have great chemistry. This is the compete opposite of the days when "The Answer" (Allen Iverson) was dragging a weak team to the NBA Finals. Both are great teams, but one was built around a mega-star while the other is built around a cast of skilled character guys that play together to achieve success. Let me give you a clip of this current brand of 76ers, both because I love them and because it illustrates how they operate as a TEAM:

So with this talk of teamwork and selflessness, I'd like to mention the term "Accountability". Why? Well, the heart of a team starts with accountability. A definition of responsibility  by the dictionary is "a willingness to accept responsibility for one's actions". A great team relies on each player, each member taking personal responsibility for the success of the team. But also, it's what I've been studying in the scriptures recently. But, you might say, accountability is not in the scriptures. I don't remember ever reading that word - certainly Jesus never mentioned it! Well, you are right. But the principle of accountability is all over - Christ says,"that "every idle word that men shall speak, they give account thereof in the day of judgement" (Matthew 12:36), and again says, "Every tree that bringeth not forth good fruit is hewn down, and cast into the fire" (3 Nephi 14: 19). While this isn't meant to scare or condemn anyone, it does bring a seriousness into our reflection of the deeds that we do each day, and the things we think about other people. We are accountable unto God for the things we do in this life, for how we use the blessings He has given us. He loves us, and He wants us to do our best so that we can become like Him. I know that the only way I can do that is to hold myself accountable to Him, and do my best to take responsibility for my actions.

And so we go.

Always

Shawn: You know I'm not really a regular person, right Phil?

Phil: What does that mean?

Shawn: 'Cause I tried once and failed. I'm just too unique and interesting. 

The French call it "Du Fromage".

Wow...the past week went by really fast. So many things happened - I went to school each day, worked out twice a day, and spent time with family, along with many wonderful things. :) But I don't want to spoil the ending for you - just read and you'll find out more as you go along.

Monday: Went to Family Home Evening, where we played Bishopric Jeopardy and got to know the members of our ward better. Then we went to M's house and watched Master and Commander. Can I just say, that movie is one of my favorite movies of all time. I don't want to spoil the movie for you, but let's just say I highly recommend it. HIGHLY. :)

Tuesday: After many hours of planning and homework, I went to Buffalo Wild Wings with D,W,C,K,L and a whole group of friends. 45c wings!! Honey BBQ!! Awesomeness. Then had man talk with D - one of my best friends, someone I'm very close to - for a couple of hours. Great night.
Wednesday: Went on visits with C,P,R and once again was highly spiritually uplifted. Then I went to institute and learned about patience and temperance. At least, that's what I learned - I can't remember what the lesson was about. Afterwards, went to JCW's with K and W, and had man talk haha. Then I went to go see M and C... and had one of the best nights of my life. More to come later. :D
Thursday: Right after school and finishing a paper, I hung out with my cousin T. She is one of my best friends, and basically the same person as me - just in a different body. We and our mutual cousin H left their apartment to go get Little Caesar's, and came back with meats, cheeses, bread, and chips to make sandwiches haha. Side note: I loooooove Jalepano Cheddar Cheetos. A lot. Then we went and played basketball with their ward. T was Chris Paul, and I was Russell Westbrook. How did we play together? Awesomely. Especially because we've been playing since we were little kids, so we know each other like the back of our hands. So needless to say, we kicked butt.
Friday: Loooooong day. After schooling and tests, I went over to my grandmother's house where I met all my cousins and their friends for luau practice. Like I've mentioned before, my cousin J is getting married in April, and because we're Samoan we're having a luau for the wedding reception. We practiced the sasa, the haka, the slap, and the pate pate. After 3 hours of that, my cousin T went to see The Vow and J, J, C, and I went to Five Guys and chatted for a while. Then I went home and hung out with my brother. We had man night - we watched Homestar Runner, and our new favorite show/obsession: Doctor Who. More on that later too :)
Saturday: Worked out in the morning, and then worked on martial arts techniques with J and S. Went to the temple in the morning with M and C, and then did homework and planned for the many meetings to come tomorrow. Then at night, I watched more Doctor Who with my brother S, and then headed over to M's house to watch Howl's Moving Castle. However, by the time we all got there, it was too late to watch a movie. So we just hung out with M's family and with B and L - a married couple whom I haven't seen for a while but love very dearly. And had a wonderful night :)
Sunday: Once again, the busiest day of the week. All the meetings that I attended today were full of the Spirit of God, leading us and guiding us to make changes that would help His children. He is so invested in the security and safety of His children - I feel it to the bottom of my heart every time we discuss them. He determined to make sure that we care for them in the best way possible, and that we not mess up His perfect plan for them. If you are a human being and you don't think that God loves you - you are wrong. I am sorry to be so bold, but He loves you so much and He wants you to come back to Him so desperately that He will do anything to help you. Remember that. :)

Permit me to go on a random tangent for a moment. When my brother S told me about Doctor Who, I kinda said, "Yeah, yeah. That sounds cool." And then he persuaded me to watch it with him. And I got hooked. He is like a mix between Shawn Spencer and Sherlock Holmes, although he's more Sherlock than Shawn. Extremely bohemian, impeccably neat, and of a calculating mind practically unmatched by any in his universe, Doctor Who is now one of my favorite characters of all time. Let me illustrate this by showing you a clip. Doctor Who = Awesome. :)

Let me be honest with you, dear reader. On some things, I am very open with you - my testimony of Jesus Christ, my love for my family, my struggles and my trials. These things I communicate to you in the efforts to offer you a glimpse into my life, through the hope that something in my struggles or triumphs may touch you and help you along the same path that I am trying to walk - that of trusting God, listening for His voice, becoming a better person, exercising faith in Christ. What you take out of my writings is all up to you. However, something recently has happened that causes me to be a little more honest with you than I usually am. I am in love. No, that's not right. I love someone very dearly. (Yes, she's a girl ;) And know, dear reader, that when I use the word "love" - I don't take it lightly. I haven't said that about anyone I care about in a romantic way except for her. I have come to know her very well, to the point that we know each other's thoughts. We care solely for the benefit of the other person, and want them to be happy. There's such a tenderness and kindness in love that we sometimes miss in the Hollywood romances. There is a devotedness to each other, a level of commitment in the word love that is missed entirely by our society today. So dear, if you are reading this - I love you.

Now, having said this, we will still face struggles in the future. We both feel that our troubles are not over yet, and that in fact we are meant to go through hard things together. But, such is life, right? Besides, this gives this subject a nice way to tie back into the purpose of my blog. :) If I am a disciple of Jesus Christ, and commit to following His teachings, I will be tried and tested to the limits of my ability. Why? Because I believe in a God who cares about me so much that  He is willing to build me and stretch me until I can become like Him and His Son. Having a girlfriend doesn't change that. The difference is how we face those hard things - if we will crumble and shrink from the support He gives us, or if we will stand strong and listen for His voice, that we might know what is right. That is what I am fighting for. That is what I care for. And I will defend it with my life.

And so we go. :)

I'm ready to try and never become that way again...

Sometimes I wonder why it is that we human beings can be so contradictory. On the one hand, we are capable of truly remarkable things: creating magnificent pieces of art, lifting a car overhead, composing beautiful music, sacrificing much in order to help a family member or even a complete stranger. And yet we can also be capable of terrible things - murder, rape, abuse, manipulation. This dichotomy of good and evil discourages me sometimes. Why do I worry about this? I don't worry about drinking some mystical potion and turning from Dr. Jeykll to Mr. Hyde. Although, speaking of this story/musical, it touches on the subject that I am really worried about:

THIS is what I'm worried about. The struggle within my soul, of good and evil. I worry that the good that is in me will grow weak and dull through laziness, through misuse of power, through neglect of the sacred principles such as prayer and scripture study that empower my righteous side. I know that I have many weaknesses, far too many and too private to be listed here. And sometimes, my weaknesses overwhelm me. I am doing pretty well now, but this possibility still haunts me.

So how do I deal with this? I focus on the things I can control. Dark impulses and desires can be like terrorists, biding their time until they strike at their most opportune moment. I have a feeling that this is the reason behind the "all hell breaks loose" type of days we have - we spill food over ourselves on the way to work, get yelled at, forget assignments until it's too late, come home and meet a home in chaos. The only way I know how to deal with this is to hold true to the principles that I know to be correct - which, if I hold to, will help me arrive at the other side of these impulses intact. These principles, such as faith and love and hope, are held together and guarded by one overarching principle: integrity.

"When one has integrated all of these attributes [faith, hope, charity, etc.] within his being, when they become the moving force of all his thoughts, actions, and desires, then he may be said to possess integrity, which has been defined as 'a state or quality of being complete, undivided, or unbroken; moral soundness, honesty and uprightness.'

Let us pursue this thought of a man being whole within himself, or undivided. Such a one would never find himself at war within himself as to which course to pursue or which decision to make. Constantly there would be a unity of purpose. There would not be, as someone has said, “one self for church, another self for business, another for recreation, home, travel, and so on....

The exact opposite of such vacillating is the life and character of the one to whom we should hold fast as the very ideal of integrity—Jesus Christ, the Savior, who taught that man cannot live a divided life, that he cannot serve both God and mammon, and that he cannot serve two masters. Not only were Christ’s teachings directed to a oneness of purpose, but his own life was the personification of integrity. This virtue is one of our greatest needs today." - President N. Eldon Tanner

If I have integrity, I will keep to my principles above all else. I will guard myself against all outside forces that seek to break me down or seduce me, and likewise guard myself against all inside forces that try to guide me contrary to these principles. It is true that we all need to listen to our hearts when we make decisions, but if I have a feeling that I must go seduce a married woman, I can clearly see that that impulse is a wrong decision. So I need to discern between even competing feelings in my own heart. The one that "feels right", that rings clear and true - that is the principle that I have to go with. And above all else, I have to follow the example of my Savior. If Christ would not do it, then I cannot do that either. How do I decide what He wants me to do? I can tell often through my feelings. However, more often, He simply tells me. And He will tell you if you just take the time to listen. It may be hard, but the effort it takes to hear His words is worth all that you might sacrifice. For if you have His words, His guidance, then you can hold to that and trust that you will be safe. You will make right decisions, regardless of the immediate outcomes. Trust Him.


And so we go.

It doesn't matter now. Just let them come.

Well, this past week has flown by. I've been so busy I can hardly believe it's Sunday again. Let me review what's happened in the past two weeks:

Event 1 - Had a few last days with M.R., my other self. (Me, you, and D were all the same person - now it's just D and me, living the same life.) K and I said goodbye to him last Monday, and then he left on his mission on Wednesday. I might take another blog post and devote entirely to our relationship, but suffice it to say he was one of my best friends. I know he's going to do great. Love ya Costanza!!!

Event 2 - Many movie/hangout nights with friends.We watched Psych, The Sting, The Phantom of the Opera: 25th Anniversary, and Les Miserables: The Dream Cast in concert. Shakes were eaten, hamburgers were ordered, and ice cream cones were spilled. And above all, many deep talks were had about the meaning of life, relationships, the gospel, personal feelings, trials and tribulations, friendships, etc.

Event 3 - Meetings. Meetings. Meetings. Meetings. Lots of them! Mostly for the ward - more on this in another blog post. To be continued...

Event 4 -Visits. This is one of the best parts of my week. We go out and visit people in our ward who either need help and strengthening, people we don't know very well, or people that just moved into the area. Regardless of their circumstance, they always uplift and inspire me to try and be a better person. And sometimes we are blessed enough to be able to help them come unto Christ and rejoice together in the goodness of His gospel. Sound cheesy? Well, even if it does - it's true. Christ is the only way to true happiness. Also more on that later.

Event 5 - Hanging with my family. Man nights with the brother who I share a room with (meaning either talking all night about girls and school, or watching Homestar and How It Should Have Ended until we fall asleep. Movie nights with the family, going out to eat, and spending time with the people I love. Working out with cousins, going to dances, playing Rock Band until 5 in the morning. Great times :)

Event 6 - Tests. Tests. Papers. Homework. AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

Event 7 - Scripture Study and Prayer every morning. Does this count as an event? If it's important enough to have every morning, then I just wanted to mention it. I also wanted to mention that it's helped EXTREMELY in dealing with all the struggles and trials that I've been dealing with. Just so you know. :)

Well, in all of this, I wanted to mention that I feel extremely blessed by my Father in Heaven. I know I post often about the struggles I am going through - partly so that when I go through further struggles later in life, I can look back on these times and say, "Well, I thought I had it really rough then - and I got through it!" And realizing that I only got through it with His help. Well, right now I feel like He is lifting my spirit up and guiding me and protecting me from the forces of darkness. I feel His power around me, strengthening my commitment and courage to do what is right. I know this probably means that trials and heavy darkness soon await. Let them come. For if I trust in my God, all things are possible.

And so we go.