Hello..... I'm the Doctor

Whew! Looking at the past two blogs I've posted, it's been at least 6 months between the times I've blogged.... And now almost over a year. I have been working on a "what it's like to be married" post.... And let's just say that it's still taking me some time. :) But I have some things that have been on my mind, and I wanted to write about those today. Maybe - and hopefully - sometime in the future I'll be able to finally finish my blog post about my wife. :)

Well, the title of this post refers to one area that I am struggling in life.... My future career. I know, I know - this isn't exactly a big surprise to all of you who have followed me in the past. But, it's kind of hard guys! Let me share with you a story: Once upon a time, Robbie was studying Psychology and Business Management at his university. However, he had no idea of what he wanted to do for a career; he just loved to study and learn about the principles behind social organizations, and test those principles for himself. He also was taking a "Seminary Teaching" class which was about different skills and principles of how to teach young adolescents about the Holy Scriptures. He loved his class, and he had always thought it would be wonderful to teach the gospel for a living. Not an extravagant living, mind you, but a decent living. He went through this class, got selected to teach for two weeks and was told he had a lot of promise in this area. Then, the last two classes he taught, he struggled in teaching some particular kids. I mean, REALLY STRUGGLED. He was observed by one of his professors in the class, and subsequently was told that he would not be invited for further interviews and teaching to become a seminary teacher.

This kind of shocked Robbie. As he had been going along he had been feeling more and more confident that this was the direction his Father in Heaven wanted him to go; this was the career that would bring him the greatest happiness and wherein he could bless the most people. Now, all of a sudden, it was gone. The direction and confidence he had been feeling about himself was taken away, and he was left alone. It was in this moment that he realized how much he still put his confidence in his accomplishments, or measured his worth by the quality of his achievements. He realized how foolish that would be; if he measured his worth by his job, what happens if he gets fired? If he instilled confidence in himself based on his ability to relate to others, what happens when (as happens in the lives of everyone that has conversations with other people) he had a disagreement with another person  and bitter feelings ensued? It would be foolish to throw away his feelings of confidence and direction based on things that he could not control.

That story is why I chose this picture and video. In one of my favorite television shows (Doctor Who), the main hero is......well, one of my heroes. I love him because he's crazy and hilarious and a bit odd, but also passionate and strong and confident and extremely clever. He has successes and failures. He has great friends and then has no friends; he makes brilliant decisions and poor choices. He is imperfect.... Just like all of us. And yet, he doesn't let his mistakes define him. He doesn't let the decisions of others or circumstances that he can't control affect him, at least in the long run. He knows who he is; this gives him strength. In any situation and to any problem he can walk up calmly and simply say, "Hello.... I'm the Doctor." And with this knowledge, armed with his confidence in himself, he can conquer just about anything.

This reminds me of another video....

Simba, another great movie hero (and DISNEY!!!!!) has been running away from mistakes that he made previously in his life. He feels so terrible based on a bad decision that he made in his youth, that he runs away from any responsibility or shame because it makes him feel so awful. Even when Nala (his longtime best friend + who happens to be a girl = always ends up to be his spouse. Disney movie formula = happiness ;)) approaches him about facing up to his responsibility, he turns away from her because she reminds him of his shame and guilt. It is only when he feels an inner yearning to connect with his father that he remembers the goodness he felt when he was with dad. He remembers how he was happy, and didn't have any shame or guilt to hold him down from making decisions. This leads him to the climactic scene above, where he sees his father. Yet his father doesn't give him specific advice. Wouldn't that have been more helpful? "Simba, Scar has an uneasy alliance with the hyenas; if you can expose that then they will turn on him and you won't even have to fight them off." "Simba, Nala loves you. You guys should get married and have a new baby king." Instead, Mufasa reminds him of who HE is. Once Simba has that knowledge, he is empowered to do what he knows is right. Not because he will be perfect; not because he all of a sudden knows everything that he is supposed to do. But he DOES know who he is; he has confidence in himself to make a new direction, and move forward according to his best understanding of true principles. Of all the things that Mufasa could have told him, it is this knowledge - knowledge of who he is - that empowers Simba to be strong and confident and complete what he was meant to do.


So it is with us. It is common for people to feel kind of aimless, wondering why they're even here on this earth. Many things can trigger that feeling - a rough day at work, an examining of one's faults, coming home to an empty house through tough personal trials or just children leaving the nest, among many others. Yet if we let these things define us, and decide FOR US the type of person we are going to be and how we are going to feel about ourselves, then we will live a very dramatic and bipolar life. We will swing up and down with the ebb and flow of the actions of others, the conditions of the world, and live an ultimately unhappy, unfulfilled life. However, if we can find and hold onto an understanding of who we are, of our identity as sons and daughters of Father in Heaven, then we will find the strength within ourselves to be confident. If we identify ourselves as individuals who are meant to do wonderful things (because everybody is - whether it is running a business or helping raise a wonderful family, everyone is here for a purpose), then we can focus our lives on finding and fulfilling that purpose. This drives away the influence of others on our self-confidence and vision. Yes, others in our lives can guide us and uplift us – in some cases, that is our relationship with them (as husband and wife or daughter and mother, etc.), and we would be disappointed if they didn’t try to help us to correct mistakes or become stronger. But those criticisms will be taken as they are meant – as a help and a guide, not a reflection on poor character or stupidity. Even if they are meant to taunt us or make us feel bad, those criticisms will simply bounce off us, and we will try to become a better person in spite of them. Finding our identity, who we really are and what we are here to do, can have this strong effect on us to the point where we find we can be happy and peaceful even in the midst of a storm (which life brings so often upon us).


Now, I absolutely need to mention that almost all of this has been taught to me by my wife. As I have been struggling and pondering and praying about what I need to be doing, she has been right by my side the entire time. Hugging and consoling and praying with and ministering - she has been a true angel and a light to my life. I have learned so much from her about how I need to improve and prepare and grow – and never in a negative or mean way. Always in an uplifting and inspiring, “I love you” kind of conversation. She has been so amazing in helping me to find more about what I am truly supposed to do, and correct my course. My hope is that one day, I can be a strong and a wise husband and father, and a strong influence for good on the people around me. I know that while I must do everything I can to change and repent and grow, I must listen to her and counsel with her in order to become the man I need to be. In fact, I cannot become the man I need to become without her help. I need her. I love her dearly. And I am so grateful that she is in my life, a strong pillar of light to guide my way back to my Father in Heaven. She is my everything.

In conclusion, I would like to leave this short video for you to watch. It is from a talk by an apostle of the Lord Jesus Christ, whose name is Elder D. Todd Christofferson (one of my favorite speakers of all time). He speaks specifically of men, what men must be and how they can find satisfaction and purpose in life. I love my wife and family, and life is good. :)

And so we go.